Tick Tock!

Last night I watched the Dr. Kevorkian story. I wondered how much pain I could tolerate before I would have to ask someone to assist me on taking my own life. I don't think I would have ever recruited someone with hopes of ending my participation here on earth. I am too chicken,not to mention I glorify life and what it represents. These people were truly desperate. I can't imagine how it must feel to want to kill yourself because the quality of life is not the same as before. I'm sort of a liberal I'm pro choice, but don't think I'll ever agree with ending it all due to poor quality of life. Its a tough call. There are many factors to consider. You see, for me Death has always been a scary topic, something extremely sad and tragic. Something I know, I would not be able to initiate ever! Now its not to say that if I am ever hooked up to life support and a complete vegetable you shouldn't pull the plug. Yes do it, I'm useless to everybody. I'm not doing anything for myself, not even breathing. It may sound like a double standard but its not. People that were asking to end their lives still had some left in them. I know many would argue this point, and say well let me not suffer, let me just die now before the going gets tough! I'm here to say, I don't think so. Who the fuck are we to play GOD!, when its are time, it will be our time.. in the mean time. soak it all up, the good and the bad.. its happening for a reason! Not too long ago, I was reflecting on my faith. I have always been a believer, but I needed some reassurance. I started thinking about all this end of the world crap..and it got to me.. I was crying for weeks thinking that my children were going to suffer and that I hadn't accomplished half of what was on my list...I was a hot mess. I prayed that He would grant me the serenity I needed.. and it has been a month now where I'm happy with my place in life, and I'm playing my position. God has a plan drawn out for us all. Even if we might not know what it is, or whats its for. I look back on all my fam and friends that have passed, not ready yet... I'm sure they would have wanted one more hour, one more day.. at least to come to terms or given notice, they would have wanted to say goodbye to their children etc.etc.. People with a terminal disease have a terrible fate granted., but at least they have been given a heads up, their life was just not yanked from underneath them. They have been given an opportunity to come to terms and reflect. Its a blessing in disguise.. not the death part, but the awareness. We should not take any moment in our lives for granted. The good times and the bad are what makes us a whole!

Dedicated to Edna, Charlie and Joey.(gone too soon)Where ever you may be, may you have peace knowing that you are missed and your lives meant something to us..I love and miss you! See ya when the time is right!