So I don't remember when I signed up to be a spy.. but today I found myself along with my sidekick at Astoria Pool sneaking a peak at my four year old at his first day of summer camp.
There he was chatting with new little friends and playing around. I saw him go into that 2 feet pool and splash around and be independent. At one point I wanted to shout out and wave, and let him know I saw him and that I was there for him. Thats just in case the 150 summer camp counselors and 30 lifeguards that were there to save him for some reason couldn't that I "SUPERMOM" was there. However my sidekick held me back. I was confused, and felt impotent. I wanted to jump over that separation bar and spray some sunblock on him, I wanted to lay out his towel to dry and neatly place his crocks where he could find them. Right when I was at the verge of going insane it happened, I saw how my little one dried himself off and neatly (like his mom would) lay out his towel to dry, and apply sunblock, I was proud! he did just as I would do, and I wasn't even present! (at least to his knowledge)
You see a couple months ago I decided he was going to be one of them kids that attended summer camp. Not knowing what I was getting myself into, I signed away and made that payment. Now I find myself crying and worried about my child hoping all is well as he journeys out on his summer adventures. I know this is what's best for him, but just like his first day of school, I'm the one left crying on the sidelines after he is scooped up by the bus that takes him away and leaves me in that dramatic state. Parenting is more than bedtimes, milk , cartoons. If you're a parent you know exactly what I mean.
I'm hoping it gets better with time but I'm only fooling myself! I know it will only get worse as he gets older. I'm thinking I'm gonna have to come up with some sort of disguise and I'm wondering how long my Sidekick aka sister will be up for the job. It's unbelievable how attached we are to our children at least us moms are.
SO when the kid gets home and I ask him how his day went, when I asked him what happen at the pool he says it went horrible that he didn't have his towel and that his skin feels burned..(Really?) and that he spoke to no one......When I ask him if he wants to go back, he says yes. (Big Really?) This kids out to get me...Thank God I traded in my 9-5, for a day of espionage at the pool, call Russia I'm on my way! I'll take Summer Games for 300 Please!